


Let's Jump

by xpunkstylesx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 17:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4928530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xpunkstylesx/pseuds/xpunkstylesx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're both sick and tired of the voices pushing them to edge, so they resolve to jump together. So why is one shaking at the thought of death and the other running towards it like finding an old friend?</p>
<p>worldlwt AU- Louis and Harry decide if they're going to jump, they're going to jump together. Only one jumps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Jump

"I'd want New York City to be the last thing I see." Louis whispered, staring up at the black sky wistfully, yearning to see a hint of a star.   
"New York is such a cold place. I'd want to see the infinite ocean in San Francisco. It would put me at ease to realize no one might ever find me, that I might be able to drift endlessly and simply go back from whence we came." Harry rebutted, a smile tinging his lips as he remembered an old phrase his dad used to say before he died, 'We children of the tide, must return to the sea again and again, until the day we don't come back leaving only that which was touched along the way'.   
Louis turned, gazing in admiration at the only thing that kept him alive, and pulled him closer, feeling the small space in between them was worth an ocean. They laid there, entangled in each other's arms and wrestling with their thoughts, trying to stop the words both of them wanted to let loose.   
Louis fidgeted, knowing he was loosing the battle, and forced himself to look at Harry for the first time that night, the shy words coming out at hardly more than a murmur, "If we jump, we jump together, ok?"  
"I think you mean when, Lou." Harry muttered, meeting his lips halfway, throwing all the pain and anger he felt into a passionate lip lock.

***

"It's windier than I thought it'd be."  
"Yeah, well, that's what you get for booking this trip in October."  
"It's the anniversary, you know this is the only time we can do this."  
They were watching the sun set behind Alcatraz, just a few miles in front of them, the last of the days visitors jetting off in a tiny vessel. Louis and Harry watched them with mild interest, most of their thoughts on their clasped hands. There was an energy bouncing off of them, as though they could and would do anything at that moment. They had never been so sure of anything in their life, and yet their sweaty palms contradicted their steadfast thoughts. Harry was the first to pull away, coughing into his elbow and walking a small distance away, shoulders tight. Louis watched him go, a sadness tinging his drab blue eyes, knowing his love was in pain but not having the strength to fix it.  
With the sun gone, the world seemed to have a lot more opportunity than before. The children of the night could finally come to life, and Harry's shoulders loosened, Louis' eyes gained some color. They came together once more, strolling to the middle of the rusty red bridge hand in hand, just as any normal couple would do. They stopped abruptly, turning simultaneously to the open stretch of water, and with their hands tangled, everything fell away and all there was was just them two.  
"Do you remember our first kiss? How I had to grab you so you wouldn't fall, your knees were shaking so hard?"  
"Yeah, but do you remember the epic date I took you on, when we walked through that tiny park across uni and you made flower crowns for two hours?"  
"That's not as good as when we got our first couple tattoos. You squeezed your eyes so tight I thought they'd never open again."  
"I remember when I took you to meet my parents you were so nervous you could barely finish a sentence. You barely got through your name when my sisters walked in, and then you forgot your last name."  
"I was a little nervous. But I clearly remember telling my mom about you, and her eyes lit up, and that's when I knew you were worth the whole damn bunch put together."  
They pulled each other closer, the wind no longer a problem. They had stood next to each other for a long time, leaning on each other to keep balanced, but the facade had crumbled away at last. No more words had to be spoken to remember the pain that had clung to them for as long as they could remember. And yet their promise from long ago still hung in the air, unspoken but true, as present as either of the two were that night on that bridge.   
It was so late that there were no more bustling people shoving them out of the way, just an occasional car light shining to a different final destination. Harry nodded, helping Louis swing a leg over the edge, watching him get carefully seated before settling in right next to him.   
"It's huge." Louis whispered, not looking at anything in particular, his knuckles turning white from gripping the edge so tightly. Harry nodded, hardly able to utter a comment as his palms became sweaty, the dizzying height below him sending shivers down his spine.  
"Haz, before we do this, I need you to know I love you. You do know that, right, that I love you?"   
"Lou, I- erm, I love you more than anything else in the world, of course I- uh- know that you love me." Harry replied, distracted by the realness of the situation.   
"Ok then baby, on three. One, tw-..."

A flash of white teeth, eyes crinkling at the ends with such fierceness it almost seemed painful. Her bright green eyes were loving, and as her warm arms wrapped around his waist, Harry couldn't help but let out a quiet giggle, infected by the fierce love of his mother.   
"Now you be good, Hazza. Call me when you're in the room, and use your money wisely," Anne whispered in his ear, clutching him so tightly he could barely maneuver his arms to hug her back. He nodded silently, choking back a sob that held the painful secret. They stood knotted together, letting precious quiet time pass by, before Anne forced herself to pull away, looking her boy straight in the eyes again, "Now you come back in one piece with him, you understand? You're the best thing that's happened in my life and Lou's the best thing in yours, and if anything happens, my heart would break, don't you forget that."

"...o, three; let's go." Louis exclaimed, voice growing with every word. He pulled forward with his cold fingers, lifting himself from the rusty rail and sailing down, falling into near darkness. Harry froze, body and mind suddenly protesting against the idea. He gripped the rail with the tightest grip he could muster, drawing blood from his already bruised fingers, but could feel nothing but pain and regret. He couldn't take his eyes off the dark pit below him, watching his love plunging down into nothing, a flash of surprise and fear in his perfect blue eyes before he disappeared. He sat there, as though suspended in time, a storm of emotions gripping his soul.

***

Hands everywhere, and a lot of prying eyes. That's the only way Harry could describe what had happened that night. He was in a state of shock, not even responding when Anne tracked him down, squeezing him tightly. All he could seem to do was trace an old tattoo on his tricep and occasionally mutter, "He can't really be gone- he'll come back," before turning eagerly to a closed door.  
The doctors said he was simply in shock, having had such a close experience with such a traumatic event, yet that couldn't be it. His mom was convinced it was the new drugs they were administering to him, but the doctors shot that down, using numbers and statistics to prove their futile evidence. And all Harry could reply with was a hopeless hope of seeing him again.  
Months went by, but Harry had been right. Throw yourself in an ocean that big, and they'll never find you. You'll be reduced to the pieces of yourself you had left behind, and all he'd left behind was inside Harry. 

***

"Rain was his favorite. He always said it made him see clearer, that it wiped the dirty glass of reality clean for him. Maybe he requested it for today, knowing we'd be down here thinking about him, even though I don't think we ever really stopped, whether or not it was raining. He was a mess, truly. Never really knew what he wanted, but he always made sure I knew one thing; we'd never leave each other. Neither of us would have to carry on a loveless life without the other. I promised him every time he said that, thinking it would always be true. And one night, when we promised each other we'd jump with the other, I thought, now that, that's true love. We were like Romeo and Juliet, already spiritually married and beyond the belief that something as banal as death could part us. We were broken, leaning on each other, wearing each other down, never realizing how poisonous our love was. A moment of weakness, and now we'll forever be apart, never again planning our future because we have none to spare."


End file.
